|
Written by Toska
|
|
Tosk,
If you're really feeling someone, and they could use your assistance in something would you assist them? My girl needs me to give her $300 to enroll in this class to be licensed to be a chauffeur. I really like her, and I don't mind helping her, it's just that I wonder if once I help her would she leave me once she accomplishes what she sets out to do. What do you think about this situation? OH YEAH!!! GOOD MORNING!!
Signed,
She wants to hit the Jackpot!
Hey Girl!
First and foremost if you have to question whether or not she will leave then you have some doubt in your mind about your relationship. You don't feel secure. Now insecurities come from different feelings - ones that we create on our own or others that are caused by the actions of our mates. The little bit that I do know is that she is controlling, insecure, and inconsiderate. This is because of the rudeness that I experienced on the telephone. These are not healthy things for any relationship. Let me also say that she is a little on the ignorant side. Run while you can. No joke. Get away from this girl as fast as you can. You may not see it now but I do. It will get even worse. I look at several different things when I'm dating someone. I'm not sure what her
current employment status is but I look at these things:
1) Does she work? I don't care what kind of job she has but does she have one?
2) If she does have one does she have dependants? Kids, dogs, cats, fish, grandmother or somebody that she takes care of.
3) If not, what does she do with her money? Rent, car note, electricity, coke habit, etc.
4) If this was a dream of hers then why didn't she do it before she met you? What was stopping her? People have different situations in their lives that prevent them from pursuing their dreams. What was in the way before she met you?
5) If there is any doubt in my mind about me and my girl being stable then I need to rethink the relationship. She will more than likely get on her feet and leave. Those doubts in your mind only appear when there's a feeling of uncertainty about the person. Don't ignore those feelings. Those feelings are somewhat true. Maybe not all true, but pay close attention to them. You're feeling like that for a reason.
Now before I was a mother I would do a lot of things without my girl even asking. If she did ask me for anything whether it be monetary or a personal service and I had it to give or time to spare I would give it to her. But now that I have a child my priorities are different. The person that I was dating did ask me for some assistance one time. I thought about it long and hard and I asked myself why this person who has no children wanted to take away from my son. What did she do with the money she was making - because she was working. Why did I have to fund her dreams? Why didn't she do this on her own? I thought that she was selfish to even ask me that. What single parent has spare money? NO SUCH THING. So I asked her if she had a child if she would give me money freely. Her response was: "girl, if I had children and anyone asked me for money I would have to think about it because raising kids is expensive and I may need my money for something later on down the line".
THAT WAS MY ANSWER. SHE DIDN'T REALIZE THAT SHE HAD ANSWERED THE QUESTION FOR ME. Let's call it reverse psychology. I DIDN'T GIVE IT TO HER BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE MONEY TO SPARE TO A GROWN PERSON WHO WOULDN'T MAKE THE SACRIFICE FOR ME. If you work every day you don't have $300.00 spare dollars - there is no such thing especially being a single parent. I
told her that my first responsibility was to my child and not to ask me for money. I also explained to her that if she needed the money for something really important then I could make it available, i.e. a kidney, heart transplant, pinky toe, etc. I also explained to her that her dreams and goals were important to me BUT they have to be more important to her. If it’s indeed something that she wants to do the she needs to make it possible. Not me. The next thing you know she’ll be asking for the money to purchase the damned limo, the chauffeur’s hat, patent leather shoes and a white shirt.
That's my two cents. I lost respect for her because she took too much.It was always something with her. She always had some issue going on that I needed to help her with. I already have one child; I don't need any more children to take care of. |
change your city
